"Being willing to get out of your own way is the first step to success." -Alisha Nicole
Self- Sabotage is an important topic. It is a deep root discussion, and that has many layers. I could spend hours on this topic alone, but I have taken some essential concepts to discuss today for the sake of time. The truth of the matter is YOU may not know when you are self-sabotaging yourself and how.
The crucial nuggets to take away from this deep root discussion is:
BE willing to recognize how and when you are self-sabotaging yourself
BE willing to break through and do the work
BE willing to change
Self-sabotage holds you back from living your full potential, it keeps you back from being your true self, and it holds you back from obtaining what it is you truly desire.
There are several ways we self-sabotage ourselves. We will go over some of the deep roots in this discussion. All of these roots keep us stuck, and three key factors hinder your success.
1. Thinking things have to be a certain way. When you think things have to be a certain way, you miss out on thousands of other ideas and solutions. The results are, you get in your way of success.
2. Thinking things have to be perfect. Things will never be perfect, so keep pushing through and quit waiting for that moment. Push through and make things happen.
3. Not being open. When you are not open, you miss out on experiences and opportunities that will take you to different places in life.
SELF-CONCEPT
"Believing in yourself, knowing your value and self-worth is the second step to success."
-Alisha Nicole
Self-Concept is the beliefs one holds about themselves and the response of others. We have so many beliefs that make up our self-concept. We store these beliefs from infancy to today through life experience, making us who we are. Our self-concept is the way we perceive ourselves, and it affects the way we achieve and perform based on those beliefs. If your self-concept about yourself is negative, this will keep you from moving forward and living your full potential.
When you are critical about yourself and others, this is self-sabotage. When you are critical of yourself, this prevents you from stepping out of your comfort zone. When you are critical of others, this places a form of judgment, which does not serve.
When you are in your comfort zone, you feel safe. The comfort zone is where you feel the most comfortable and do not want to get out of your comfort zone and step out into the unknown. When we are in the unknown, this is where exponential growth happens. When you choose to stay in your comfort zone, this is where you will justify, make excuses, and procrastinate. You will continue to convince yourself why you are safe right where you are and bring others in for validation.
It is essential to recognize when you are holding yourself back and self-sabotaging yourself. Notice and see when you are doing this to yourself and be willing to push through and move forward. As you do this, you will see changes in your self-concept and your beliefs about yourself. It is essential to believe in yourself, know without a doubt what your value is, and know your self-worth. The fact of the matter is you are amazing! Your self-worth matters. Never hold anyone in their smallness, including yourself.
SELF- LIMITING BELIEFS
"Recognizing your self-limiting beliefs and breaking through is the third step to success."
-Alisha Nicole
Your belief system is essential to your success. Your beliefs create your results. We have fixed beliefs meaning; we believe that they are true. It is crucial to your inner being to learn to recognize your belief system and break any self-doubt or self-sabotage.
Your belief system runs the perception of yourself and others and determines your behavior. Behaviors are the visible ways that your beliefs, assumptions, and attitudes show up.
-Procrastination
-Excuses
-Justification
Self-limiting beliefs are beliefs you have about yourself that limit and prevent you from taking risks, being open, and being vulnerable. There is a strong tie to guilt with self-limiting beliefs. When you tend to feel guilty, you beat yourself up. You find ways to reinforce your self-limiting beliefs to prove those beliefs are true.
Self-limiting beliefs also drive your fears, which drive your self-sabotaging mechanisms. Examples of self -limiting beliefs are:
-I am not enough
-I am not worthy
-I am not lovable
-I am undeserving
Start recognizing what you tell yourself, notice your self-talk, and mind chatter because those beliefs become YOUR truth.
SELF-ENHANCED BELIEFS
"Recognizing your self-enhanced beliefs and breaking through is the fourth step to success."
-Alisha Nicole
Another fixed belief we have besides self-limiting beliefs is self-enhanced beliefs. Self-enhanced beliefs are beliefs you have about yourself that live in the history of supporting you. Self-enhanced beliefs keep you stuck and stagnant as well. Self-enhanced beliefs prevent you from taking risks, being open, and being vulnerable, just like self-limiting beliefs. But most of all, self-enhanced beliefs support you in thinking you are better than everyone else.
When you have self-enhanced beliefs, you do not allow others to get close to you or let others in, as I call it an arm's length relationship ran by EGO. Self-enhanced beliefs will keep you from profoundly connecting and building meaningful relationships with others. Examples of self-enhanced beliefs are:
-I am fine
-I am better than
-I am perfect
-I know it all
The truth is we will never know it all, and the second we decide we do, it eliminates opportunities, exponential growth, and full potential. As discussed earlier, we will never be perfect, and things will never be perfect. We can accomplish and achieve, but there will always be room to grow. We are growing, or we are dying. The choice is yours.
Whatever you believe becomes your truth either way. This is a crucial decision to make as you think about becoming a high achiever and releasing your full potential. Often we forget that our beliefs are something we can shift and reprogram. Commit to creating an empowering belief system, develop beliefs that are worthy of your true magnificence.
FEAR OF FAILURE
"We live life and perform at the level where our belief system is." -Alisha Nicole
Fear of failure is a deep subconscious fear we hold on to. This fear becomes your conditioned programming. Fear of failure is the number one fear that holds people back. When we have a fear of failure, we do not move forward for several reasons. A few examples are:
-Afraid of making a mistake
-Afraid of not being successful
-Afraid that no-one will listen to you
-Afraid that you do not have what it takes
-Afraid that your product or service is not the best
This fear will keep you emotionally stagnant and living in a prison of fears. It will prevent you from performing at your full potential, pushing through, and being determined to do what it takes to make things happen.
It is essential to overcome the fear of failure if you want to live your full potential and live a life of high-level success. There are several ways you can overcome your fears. Recognize that this fear is not your truth. It became your truth because you allowed it to become your truth by believing it was true. Push through the fear and realize it was not that bad. Notice and feel what it feels like to push through that threshold.
Upgrade your self-concept by pushing through and completing a goal or task at hand. You will then see your results and have some success, which changes the way you feel about yourself. Pay attention to your self-talk. Tell yourself; you no longer have a fear of failure. Know that if you struggle with this fear, it is self-sabotage, and it is essential you break through it.
Know who you truly are. You are capable of accomplishing anything it is you desire. You are no different than the person before you that has done it. Believe in yourself, know your value and self-worth. Practice YOUR self-talk and watch your life change.
FEAR OF REJECTION
"Do not take things personally. Know who you are and realize it is not about you." -Alisha Nicole
Fear of rejection is a deep subconscious fear we hold on to. This fear becomes your conditioned programming. Fear of rejection is a fear that holds people back. When we have a fear of rejection, we do not move forward for several reasons. A few examples are:
-You care too much about what other people think
-Afraid to be yourself
-Afraid to be told no
-Withhold in your relationships
-Withhold what you have to offer
When we have a fear of rejection, we withhold in our relationships as a way to protect ourselves, and this is self-sabotage.
This fear will keep you emotionally stagnant and living in a prison of fears. It will prevent you from performing at your full potential, pushing through, and being determined to do what it takes to make things happen.
It is essential to overcome the fear of rejection if you want to live your full potential and live a life of high-level success. Recognize that this fear is not your truth. It became your truth because you allowed it to become your truth by believing it was true. Do not care about what other people think about you. Do not take things personally. Know who you are and what you have to offer. Do not withhold in your relationships to protect yourself. Be who you truly are, no matter what.
FEAR OF ABANDONMENT
"Commit to yourself to overcome your self-sabotaging fears, and achieve your dreams and goals."- Alisha Nicole
Fear of abandonment is a deep subconscious fear we tend to hold on. This fear becomes your conditioned programming. Fear of abandonment is a fear that holds people back. When we have a fear of abandonment, we do not move forward for several reasons. A few examples are:
-Afraid you will be left
-Afraid you will be alone
-Afraid you will be hurt
-Withhold an "all in" attitude
-Afraid to be honest and express your feelings
There are several reasons where the fear of abandonment could show up in your life. One reason may be a past relationship or an experience that happened as a child, a divorce, or a death.
This fear will keep you emotionally stagnant and living in a prison of fears. It will prevent you from performing at your full potential, pushing through, and being determined to do what it takes to make things happen, just like all of the other fears.
It is essential to overcome the fear of abandonment and all the other fears in this discussion. Especially if you want to live your full potential, and live a life of high-level success, recognize that this fear is not your truth. It became your truth because you allowed it to become your truth by believing it was true. Own your voice. Express your feelings about how you feel. Do not hold things in and live in fear that you will be abandoned in your relationship if you are honest. Have faith in yourself and your relationships. Take action with the "all in" attitude to do what it takes to dig deep and do the work and overcome this fear.
TIME TO REFLECT
"Taking time to reflect, dig deep, and do the work, moves you closer to your full potential."
-Alisha Nicole
Taking the time to reflect and ask yourself questions is essential for human growth. The time you invest in yourself to learn and grow is priceless.
The average person only uses a small percentage of their human potential. That means there is a large percentage just waiting to release. The truth is you are a magnificent being of light born to live in greatness. Ask yourself this question. If you were living life at your full potential and you tapped into the remainder of your potential, what would you do? Where would you be?
I invite you to think about this question and journal your thoughts. (take 15 minutes and journal)
Take a few minutes to dig deep, reflect, and ask yourself the following questions regarding self-sabotage. It is time to recognize the ways you get in your way and self-sabotage yourself.
1. Write down three things you need to change
(I need to change .....)
2. Write down three reasons why
(The reasons I need to change this .....)
3. Write down three solutions
(The solution I have to make this change is .....)
Remember, the key here is to be willing to recognize, breakthrough, and change.
TOOLS TO USE
"Immerse yourself in personal development. Make it a daily routine. Your results will thank you for it." -Alisha Nicole
Personal development is the most efficient way to create awareness, breakthrough thought patterns, develop new skills, and nurture the skills you already have established. Personal growth enhances your quality of life and creates true joy and happiness.
According to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, self-actualization is the highest human need. We all have a deep-down desire to reach our full potential. Reaching your full potential is essential to human development. Personal development is a lifelong process; make it a goal to immerse yourself daily and watch your life change for the better.
Tools are a powerful process to use for your personal development. Some examples of the tools to use for self -sabotage are:
1. Reflecting
2. Journaling
3. Affirmations
4. I am Statements
5. Mind Shift Chatter Process
6. Self-Talk Journal
My goal is to share the tools and knowledge with you I have learned from my most incredible mentors, processes that I have created, and that I have implemented in my life. I am grateful I can recognize when I am self-sabotaging myself, and I have the tools to breakthrough. Honestly, I would not be where I am today if I was unwilling to be coachable, dig deep, do the work, and make changes in my life. When the student was ready, the teacher appeared.
"To implement change, it takes time and commitment, but the results are worth it." - Alisha Nicole
Reflecting and digging deep is a crucial process. Be willing to ask yourself questions such as what am I learning, how is this impacting my life, what changes have I made and is this moving me forward towards my full potential and purpose?
Journaling is so beneficial; if you have not tried it yet, start today. I have a journal for everything. A lot of my content and books that I am writing came from my inspiration journal.
Affirmations are priceless. Affirmation statements serve the purpose of overcoming negative thoughts and self-sabotage. Positive affirmations are a tool to assist you in changing the way you think.
An example of an affirmation would be, "I deserve the best, and I accept the best now." -Louise Hays
Louise Hays is a great teacher on affirmation statements. Check out her affirmation app for the iPad.
"I am"statements are affirmations. But explicitly created for you. You create your own "I am statement." It is a declaration for YOU. For example:
"I am a beautiful, powerful being of light."
"I am enough, and I am capable of anything."
The Mind Chatter Shift is a 5 step powerful process that helps you interrupt your mind chatter and self-talk. It is a tool to help you reprogram the belief system you store in your subconscious and filter only a positive thought process. If you want a copy of this process, send me an email, I will gladly send you a copy.
Self-Talk Journal
This journal is a fantastic tool that will assist you in re-writing your self-talk. Available on Amazon by Alisha Nicole.
Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions. Please share and inspire all the women in your life, and if you would like more discussions, subscribe at the bottom of the home page.
