For years I was the “YES” gal, even if it was a sacrifice or a major inconvenience. I had a belief that I had to always to be there for others or help others. Over time who I was as an individual started to diminish. I continued to put others first before me. The best thing I could have ever done for myself was to recognize this. And then to learn to say no!!! And say to me I choose me! It was liberating. It is OK to say no at times. I did not always have to say yes and be the yes gal anymore!
I had to remind myself how important I am, even in my miserable marriage that I was “trying” to save. I had to get real and honest with myself....and realize that I had to choose me! I had to save who I am and make some changes. Because without the love for myself and putting me first, what would I ever have left to give to others... what could I give to others? What could I possibly offer my children?
The analogy of the airplane emergency oxygen mask would play over and over in my head. Finally, I picked a day, and I chose myself! I made the decision that I get to be happy. That I get to put myself first, not in a selfish way but a selfless way, that I get to love and support others, but I do not always have to say YES! That it is OK to say no! That it is OK to be me no matter what!! Not to care what other people think, love me, honor myself, and most of all, choose me!
Here is an exercise I use that assists me greatly. If I am ever battling with myself internally, whether it is my ego or just a pure lesson I get to learn, I use the following to help me process myself.
I have to ____A___.
If I don't A_____, then B_____.
If I B_____, then C_____.
If I C_____, then I will feel D_____.
I am committed to making a change, so I do not feel D_____.
The change I am committed to being _______.
It was time to make a change. And for me, it was the day I chose myself!
